Yeah, I'm fine! And I've got the grocery store right here so I'm not short on food or anything! [America is obviously attempting to power through just on cheer, manufactured or not.]
[England snorts.] There's never enough food for you.
[But only fractions of a second after the words are out of his mouth, England gets a glimpse of something else: I'm glad you're all right, he hears himself say, and he watches America's responding cheer...
On the feed, he closes his eyes tightly, trying to will the images away so that he can continue speaking.] Ginger and I just went by the convenience store today. We'll be heading down to that house with the sewing machine.
[Opening his eyes again, England frowns.] Quite. I've been...assisting to the best of my ability, but I can't stop her seeing things.
[He wishes he could, because he knows they've both seen some pretty awful things today.]
She's safe, though.
[But even then, he remembers seeing the various ways she could have died on such a short walk, the monster that could have been waiting in the store, the door of this house locking only moments before they could reach it...]
[For a moment, America's mind flickers through another conversation, where England was telling him Ginger died. He shoves it aside with a smile from nowhere and whatever words pop into his head.] I knew I could count on you! [...Maybe too much, but they're already out of his mouth.]
[England's dire expression falls, leaving behind a strange sort of surprise that also makes it apparent he's a little lost as to what to do with such a declaration.]
That's— I mean... [He clears his throat and tries to puff himself up into Empire Posture, but there's a flush in his face that wasn't there before.] Right. Of course! I always keep my word.
[But somewhere else, he says I'd hate to let you down, and it immediately deflates his attempt at bravado, leaving him again with that curiously lost look.]
[England puffing up like that is expected, but his immediate deflation isn't. America tilts his head curiously at the camera as he tries to figure it out, then ultimately decides not to bring it up. Of course, in a world where he did--no, this is getting confusing. It's already confusing.]
[Everything's fine. Right. America didn't say that England defied his expectations, because he's usually such a let-down. He could have! But he didn't.
So it's fine.
England's eyes flicker away from the tablet screen.]
I'm not certain how long it will take us to reach our destination, but we've got a ways to go. I'll let you know when we're close. It's...not that far from the entrance to the tunnels. So.
I'll start going through once I can actually get into 'em! [And then he imagines a scenario where England dies in the ice tunnels--or doesn't imagine it so much as sees it in front of him, with England swallowed up by a monster and freezing to death overlaid on top of each other.] Just, y'know, make sure Ginger has plenty of breaks and stuff.
I haven't put her at unnecessary risk, I assure you. [And he'll definitely be doing his best to continue not doing that, after everything he's seen today.
And that, thinking of that in conjunction with the tunnels — he sees Sealand again. He sees the three of them in the hospital, and him warning Sealand not to run off, holding Sealand's hand as they explore so that he doesn't go outside. He sees Sealand safe, just for that one little thing...
And America stays with them, also heeding Sealand's safety, and doesn't nearly (but he does, at the same time, England sees both outcomes) get consumed by a monster while wandering on his own.
He sees Sealand sitting with him, right now.
His expression, previously blank as the images hit him, becomes pained. Before he thinks better of it, he cautions America.] You'd better be careful, as well.
I'm always careful! [Of course he's not. He can see a world where Joker got the upper hand and killed him somewhere between his eyes and the screen he's watching England on. But he pushes that away, because it didn't happen, it definitely didn't happen!]
[Just the same, England is having some real trouble concealing the worry in his eyes. When he reaches up to try and rub some of the stress from one of his temples, behind his eyelids are flickers of other times he's seen America bending under the weight of their circumstances. But if England had been more supportive — a kind word, an embrace...
He sets his jaw and squeezes his eyes shut even tighter, hoping it will blank out the hallucinations of intimacy. At least it just looks like unspecified stress on camera.] Just— those bloody tunnels are trouble. I'd prefer to see you in one piece.
[His words are weary. He doesn't really want to fight.]
I will be! [There's a pause, where America remembers all the problems they've had just in Norfinbury and sees all the ways they could have died. The whole idea is terrifying to America, honestly; dying wasn't something he was at all familiar with on a personal level. Getting super hurt was one thing, but dying--] And so will you, so it's all fine.
[After everything he's seen today, England isn't completely confident about that second part. He heaves a sigh and opens his eyes again, though they're still focused elsewhere than the tablet.] You always say that.
Mmn. [That's a very lofty claim, but arguing it would require too much nuance, and England is afraid of what he might see in the process. Even that much thought gives him visions of war; wars they've been in together, wars between them...
Maybe it would have turned out "fine" in the end if England had handled it differently.
He rubs at one of his eyes for no particular reason.] That's no reason not to be careful.
I know. [America huffs a little, but really he doesn't mind the fussing that much. He's used to it by now. He forces himself to bounce back.] But I'll definitely save everyone here in the end, really!
[There's a tinge of confusion in England's eye. Though his mind is obviously still elsewhere for the most part, he finds a mote of wry disbelief to offer.] You think I'm going to be a hero?
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[But only fractions of a second after the words are out of his mouth, England gets a glimpse of something else: I'm glad you're all right, he hears himself say, and he watches America's responding cheer...
On the feed, he closes his eyes tightly, trying to will the images away so that he can continue speaking.] Ginger and I just went by the convenience store today. We'll be heading down to that house with the sewing machine.
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[He wishes he could, because he knows they've both seen some pretty awful things today.]
She's safe, though.
[But even then, he remembers seeing the various ways she could have died on such a short walk, the monster that could have been waiting in the store, the door of this house locking only moments before they could reach it...]
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That's— I mean... [He clears his throat and tries to puff himself up into Empire Posture, but there's a flush in his face that wasn't there before.] Right. Of course! I always keep my word.
[But somewhere else, he says I'd hate to let you down, and it immediately deflates his attempt at bravado, leaving him again with that curiously lost look.]
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Yeah, so everything's fine!
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So it's fine.
England's eyes flicker away from the tablet screen.]
I'm not certain how long it will take us to reach our destination, but we've got a ways to go. I'll let you know when we're close. It's...not that far from the entrance to the tunnels. So.
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And that, thinking of that in conjunction with the tunnels — he sees Sealand again. He sees the three of them in the hospital, and him warning Sealand not to run off, holding Sealand's hand as they explore so that he doesn't go outside. He sees Sealand safe, just for that one little thing...
And America stays with them, also heeding Sealand's safety, and doesn't nearly (but he does, at the same time, England sees both outcomes) get consumed by a monster while wandering on his own.
He sees Sealand sitting with him, right now.
His expression, previously blank as the images hit him, becomes pained. Before he thinks better of it, he cautions America.] You'd better be careful, as well.
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[He can already see America freezing to death in the long, dark stretches of the tunnels or tripping and being skewered on an ice spire. Literally.]
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He sets his jaw and squeezes his eyes shut even tighter, hoping it will blank out the hallucinations of intimacy. At least it just looks like unspecified stress on camera.] Just— those bloody tunnels are trouble. I'd prefer to see you in one piece.
[His words are weary. He doesn't really want to fight.]
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Maybe it would have turned out "fine" in the end if England had handled it differently.
He rubs at one of his eyes for no particular reason.] That's no reason not to be careful.
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