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[fifty]

To be made pretty later.

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action, morning 265

[keepscalm]

[Once England has failed to convince Magenta, he sighs heavily and places his tablet aside, pinching the bridge of his nose like it will stave off the storm of unpleasant feeling that England has brewing in the distance.]

You can't do this.

[fifty]

[America, of course, is getting his emotions all over the place, eyes puffy and body curled in on itself. He looks away from his tablet, though.]

I don't know how to fix it. [He doesn't know what else to do.]

[keepscalm]

Nothing is going to magically fix this. [It's a bitter pill to swallow, but they can't expect forgiveness from the people they hurt, even if they were forced to do it.] Especially not you running off and getting yourself killed at the hands of someone who doesn't understand brainwashing.

[fifty]

But--I have to do something. [He's always looking for some action to perform, something to do that will save the day.]

[keepscalm]

[England doesn't have the answer. He doesn't even feel bad for half the things he did, given who he did them to.

He lifts a hand to scrub at one of his eyes.] He wants Ginger to watch. She didn't even do anything to him and he wants to hurt her. You think he's going to be satisfied if you just throw yourself to the wolves?

[fifty]

[That hadn't occurred to him--not the part about Ginger, but that Magenta might not be satisfied if America just let Magenta do whatever he wanted.] I don't know. I don't want Ginger to get involved. [Obviously.] I don't want him to hurt you, either. [Which is why he was careful not to mention that England was the other person there, since England was also doing awful things against his will.]

[keepscalm]

[England won't mention the rest of his conversation with Magenta.

Another sigh leaves him, though this one is more pained than the last.] This isn't just about me and Ginger. What about the rest of your citizens? If he kills you, and you don't come back— would you really be all right with just leaving them?

[With just leaving England?]

[fifty]

No. [He tries not to think about the idea of really dying. Even being here it's hard to adjust to, since it really hasn't been that long. Whatever Magenta might do to him, America's sure he's been through worse--but he's never had to think about not coming back from it.] I wouldn't want to leave everybody. [That includes Ginger and England.]

[keepscalm]

Then don't do this. Because if he does to you what we did to them, he— [England falters. He tries to force the emotion from his voice, but he can't rid it entirely of the desperate insistence in his heart.] He will kill you.

You can't take that risk.

[fifty]

[America hates the way England's voice sounds, because he knows that some part of that is his fault, too. He reaches, shyly, for England's hand.] Then what should I do?

[keepscalm]

[England lets America's hand find his own. His eyes flicker down to where they touch, barely restrained longing and guilt roiling behind them.] We need to move. He knows where we are, so he'll be looking for us.

As for what to do to make up for this, I can't decide that for you. [He still has no idea what to say to Karkat. To Mycroft or Beckett.]

[fifty]

[America is silent for a long time before crumpling against England.] Okay. [This isn't moving, but he needs a moment.]

[keepscalm]

[England adjusts his arms so that he can wrap them around America. But while America takes his moment, England's grip just gets tighter. The storm gets closer.

England squeezes his eyes shut as if that will prevent him from hearing his own words.] Don't leave. Please.

[fifty]

[Distantly, he knows how England feels. It's not the same thing, but England has left and died. He remembers when England headed off again after that. It's different, but there's something similar there. He clenches at England's clothing.] I won't. I'm not.

[keepscalm]

[England's breath hitches violently in his chest, and before he can tell himself how stupid it is, how useless it is, a sob bubbles up and wracks his shoulders. He's quick to hide his face against the collar of America's jacket as his body shakes and he swallows down the cries that wouldn't come when they were trapped.]

[fifty]

[It's the most emotion America's seen out of England in a while, and it startles him a little. At first, all he can think is that he said he was staying before he realizes it's probably more than just that. He moves his hands, wrapping his arms around England instead of just clinging to him.] I'm staying here, promise.

[keepscalm]

[It's not just America trying to martyr himself for Magenta's sake, it's everything; everything England did, everything the others did, Karkat's screaming and the desperate, anguished meltdowns of the converts after what they did to their colleagues and friends. House biting him, Quark and Alphonse sobbing, the Joker being right for once about how mental everything was. Samantha, somewhere, apparently lamenting what they had done.

England doesn't say any of that. He just nods against America's shoulder and tries to even out his frantic breathing.] Yeah— yeah.

[He doesn't need to add to America's burdens.]

[fifty]

[America can feel his eyes starting to burn again, and he swallows the lump in his throat but can't keep his voice from cracking.] This place really sucks, huh? [No one ever said he was eloquent.]

[keepscalm]

[England laughs, sort of. It's more like a manic sob disguising itself as a laugh.] Yeah. That's one way to put it.

[fifty]

But--but I'll stay with you, so--we have each other, yeah? [And Ginger, but that's different.]

[keepscalm]

[Big words when America was about to let someone torture him to death just moments ago, but England isn't going to argue. His knuckles are white from how tightly he grips America's jacket.] Of course.

[fifty]

Yeah. [It makes him feel a little better. Not a lot, since everything is so awful right now, but it's something.] Where should we go next?

[keepscalm]

[England wants to say "home."

For obvious reasons, he doesn't.]

Where do you want to go?

[fifty]

[America wants to say "home", too.] We could head east.

[keepscalm]

[England's heart still races and his lungs still stutter on his uneven breathing, but he hangs on to America's words and just replies as normally as he can.] Yeah. Haven't been out that way yet.

[Well. Not voluntarily.]